For Ian

Your despair wasn't just dark
It was inky black
No bright moon or sparkling stars
Twinkled for you by the end.
You could only sing in the dark with a voice
So cracked and raw it hurt the ears
Of those who strained to hear it
Who held you so tight in their love
They thought it impossible for you to disappear

But you did it anyway
You disappeared
And all the love that surrounded you
Rose like twittering birds that burst forth
From the soil as blossoms too delicate
Impossible to hold onto

Like you

Love wasn’t enough to bind you
To this life, to lighten your way

Sorrow joined you years ago
Like it joins all of us
But somehow it was heavier for you
And you strapped it to yourself as a shield
As you marched into darkness

Sadness passes, the gulls cried
But you could only imagine yourself
As grains of sand slipping out to sea
Never to return

The morning fog misted up
From the remains of last week’s snow
Tears rising to the sky

If only you hadn’t chosen to melt away
With the snow into the mist